Reflecting Back
by Kit Of Despair
Summary: Namine looks back to one dance that she shared with Kairi. Shojo-ai. Bad at summaries. Doesn't go with real story line. Drabble KaiNam. Slight DemRox, RikuSora, one-sided OletteSora


Hey! I know I haven't wrote anything in a while. Sorry about that guys! But Hey, you now get to read my first KH2 couple one-shot. Sweet huh? Well it's yuri, be warned now. This is the last chance you get to turn back. Hey, Roxas-Kunn would you mind saying the disclaimer for me.

Roxas: Why should I? Go ask someone else.

Me: Fine I can ask _Demyx-kunnn._

Roxas: -grumbles- **Kitsune of Despair does not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters.** -_-'

Me: Enjoy!

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**"Reflecting Back"**

I remember the first time. I don't remember the song; no I don't remember the song, or whoever was around. Weather it was in the moonlight or your school's cafeteria, it didn't really matter. I remember when I saw you walk in, I was actually frozen wondering if it was really you or just something I wanted to see. I was nervous, I didn't want to run up and hug a stranger if my mind was really playing a trick on me. Then you smiled in my direction, your dark red-brown hair framing your face, as if you were calling me over, how excited I was that I ran over and glomped you and latched my arms around your shoulders. You wrapped your arms around my waist and spun around with me a few times until the momentum from my running start wore off.

We were both wearing things that we wouldn't normally, like I was wearing a black short sleeved shirt and worn blue jeans, not some white dress. You, oh my god, you were wearing a red T-shirt with a black long sleeved jacket and black Capri's; instead of that pink outfit you usually always wear. It was good, because we fit in, everyone was wearing dark colors. I still swear that Riku helped you with the outfit.

Later we danced like a real couple would. All I know is that you pulled me close with your arms around my neck. I smiled, as if you read my mind. I was getting so nervous when everyone else started to slow dance. Yeah, I've done it before and certainly so have you but never together. It was as if I was dancing for my first time. I wrapped my arms around your waist. _Remember I have to remember if nothing else._ I thought. It was something I wouldn't be able to forget even if I tried.

You laughed- no chuckled-and smiled as you knew your mistake. You told me that this didn't mean anything because you would still be the seme in this relationship, not that we really had one. I simply just smiled like an idiot and said "I know" and thought_ I wouldn't have it any other way._ Some people would describe it as love, I know I did. Maybe I over exaggerated my feelings maybe I didn't, it after all was my first time feeling like this. I never acted hyper for anyone else. You smiled sweetly, too sweetly for me to handle. I was such an idiot. You gave me this beautiful, yes beautiful, smile, using your smoldering blue eyes. People say we have the same color eyes, I strongly disagree, yours are softer, and you didn't have much pain to cloud yours. In response to your beautiful smile, all I did was give you a closed-eyed ear-to-ear smile. God, I must have looked so childish, even though we were the same age.

Like I said I don't really remember much about that night. I don't remember who I came with, what group, or even what I did before that dance. No, that's a lie. I remember, you took my hands and we just moved to the music, pretty badly since neither of us knew how to dance. We enjoyed ourselves nonetheless. We were crowded. Couples danced everywhere, but we didn't notice. Me, I didn't notice! I usually get claustrophobic when there are like three people around me, and here we were, like thirty other couples around us, of course we were in the back.

We almost bumped into one of the guys dancing behind us, I laughed a little. I couldn't do anything but be happy. I wasn't even embarrassed that I was dancing with someone of the same gender! Of course, everyone was, I wasn't alone. That was the point of a GSA dance, to be able to meet someone like you, or just be able to show your love for someone and be completely accepted. I don't think the smile left either of our faces during that dance… those dan_ces_. Right, I recall that we danced twice like that, and in between those two dances we stood there for a moment and you grabbed my hand and laced your fingers through mine. The second time we danced like we should have, my arms around your neck and your hands on my waist. Man how I longed to be closer, we were too far apart! It was tearing at me like a hungry stray dog outside a stake restaurant. My blond hair kept getting in my face, trying to hide my blush.

Oh god, if only you knew how bad I wanted to kiss you that night. The moments lasted forever, but ended too soon. You told me that it would only make things harder for me, since you weren't looking for a relationship after the one you got out of. I said I didn't care, with that stupid smile I had. That night was never meant to end. It was meant for you and me. I could've died in that night, and slept peacefully forever. I never needed anything else. I could have died and gone to heaven. No, I couldn't, I can't think of a heaven without you. I don't even know if I believe in heaven, but if there was one, it is in your eyes. And if we both died and go to heaven, it would be hell just knowing that you died somehow.

I wanted to rest my head on your shoulder, but I was afraid you wouldn't let me that close, so I didn't chance it. My friends found people too, my female best friend, Olette, talked to your male best friend, Sora, who was actually taken, my poor friend, and my guy friend, Roxas, apparently danced with a guy he really thought was hot, this guy had a Mohawk mullet thing. I _had_ you, nothing else was needed.

Like I said, I don't remember the song. It didn't really matter what the song was anyway. Your voice drowned out everything else. Your eyes were like a different world. I remember wishing to see nothing else for the rest of my life. You always had a way of knowing what I was thinking, but some things you just miss completely. Your voice put the singer's song to shame. Even if you didn't like singing, or if I never heard you sing seriously, I bet you could still whip the floor with them. No one else has to like your music, but I'd love it. I'd be your number one fan. I guess I can settle for best friend.

I don't remember the song, I really don't, and maybe that's a good thing though. If I did, I probably wouldn't be able to listen to it today. I guess you had me pretty much whipped. I think I recall saying that it felt like you had me on a chain leash. Yeah, I did, because wherever you went, I couldn't help but go. When I told you this, you laughed and said you had many like that. You have no idea how my heart fell, but you quickly made it jump by saying I was your favorite one. I _was_ your favorite. It didn't really matter that you had others, as long as that was true.

Like I said, the smile didn't leave my face all night, not once. I was really happy, and completely jealous of everyone else you hugged. I couldn't wait until it was only me. I knew how caring you were, and I loved it, it made me even more envious, yes I was even envious of you. When you felt someone was alone you would bring them into our little dances because you hated leaving people out. I thought it was really sweet, and I wanted to be all yours, which I basically was. You weren't all mine though, and that's where the little problem was. It did matter then.

It didn't really matter if it was in the moonlight, or in your cafeteria, your eyes held a whole different world. It didn't matter if it was just us, or a bunch of people jammed into one room, I still loved it. I guess I like to reflect to that day, not to torture myself, though it does anyway, but to remember how it feels to actually _feel_ something. The smile never did leave my face, until I had to leave. I wish I could have taken you with me, but I came with others and I doubt I could have asked. I wished to see you soon, but it wasn't going to work.

I guess everything happens for a reason. You have to fall in order to stand after all. I guess I'm glad you have a new love, even if I haven't found one yet, not that I'm really looking. I guess I learned that not everything goes the way you plan. We're still best friends, which is good. I used to want more and more, and I got to the point of cutting. It didn't really matter why I did, because I still did. You and Roxas helped me get out of that.

All in all, I still look back to that day and say: _ I remember the first time. _Yeah, that was around one of the best days of my life. For some time, you really were all mine, even if not official, and I thank the heavens for that. I guess I still miss those days, but it doesn't really matter because it's all over now… It's been all over now for about a year. It's true what they say, you never really know what you have, until it's gone. I miss you, Kairi, but what's left for me? What's left for Namine?

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Well, there you go! Hey, if you think this could use a better title please tell me! Well please review. Bye-bye readers! Until next time.


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